The Myth of the Happy Hour Spreadsheet

To a Georgetown student who has never stayed over the summer, he or she would hardly recognize the campus for all of the different faces. The freshmen dorms are taken over by the only creatures less…experienced…than the class of 2011 will be in a few weeks time, and the upperclassmen accommodations are filled with foreign exchange programs and yes, the 11th plague that Moses never managed to squeeze unto Pharaoh, summer interns.

True, as a summer intern slash Georgetown student, I consider myself slightly above the interns from other schools, in a caste-system sort of way. I know my way around campus and don’t have to haggle with the private security guards because, frankly, they know me here. Yet there is one important document that remains out of my grasp simply because I think I know DC already.

The Happy Hour Spreadsheet is a myth passed down through the years, allegedly since 2003, detailing each happy hour in the city and each bar’s own drink specials. Such a matrix would surely enhance (and formalize) the long-standing Georgetown tradition of drinking throughout the afternoon. These poor eyes of mine have never set sight on such treasure, though whispers of its existence haunt my cubicle block. Perhaps an enlightened soul who knows of what I speak will forward The G Spot this spreadsheet, so that all of our readers may experience their happiest of hours in the District.